When things get tough, it’s natural to want to give up. “Let’s forget about working out today. You can’t do it,” that little voice says. Or maybe, “You’re never going to get where you want. Why bother?” Is this accurate? Giving up may seem appealing, but deep down, you know you want to keep going. If you need some encouragement and want to know how to be more positive, follow these nine steps. They might make all difference!

1. Acknowledge the challenge

I know it’s hard. I know that sometimes it feels like everything that you do is a failure. Is giving up going to change things? We all face challenges every day, but we get through it. What makes this any different? You have the tools. You can seek support. If you can accept that sometimes things are tough, you’ll become more resilient and better prepared for whatever may come your way. Life isn’t easy, but isn’t that what makes success all the sweeter?

2. Reflect on and adjust your expectations

When I joined the BookTube community in 2014, I’ll admit that I had the naïve expectation of becoming an overnight sensation. Did I have a good quality camera? No. Did I network? No. Did I even use dedicated social media accounts to promote my content? No. While there’s nothing wrong with having a dream, it’s important to be realistic and ensure that your expectations align with the amount of effort that you’re putting in. You can’t expect success immediately, and you definitely can’t expect success if you aren’t doing the work. Have you been expecting too much? Which areas of your strategy need to be adjusted?

3. Acknowledge your achievements

As in nature, there are ebbs (lows) and flows (highs) in our lives. Right now, you may be focusing on the lows. I know that you’ve had some wins. What were they? Look at what you’ve managed to achieve in the last three months alone. I’m sure you can recall at least three things. Perhaps you learned a new program, aced a presentation, or gained 10 new followers. Acknowledge your achievements, celebrate your wins, and give yourself some credit. You’re probably your harshest critic.

4. Remember your why and focus on the outcome

Why did you begin this thing you want to give up on? Sometimes we don’t realise it, but over time we’ve actually moved away from our original vision. Maybe you’re feeling unhappy because you’ve gone off track and need to get back to basics. Think about what you’re doing and if you’re achieving what you want. If you are  on track, perhaps reminding yourself of your why will re-inspire you. It’s also important to try and focus on your ultimate goal or outcome, rather than the process. If you do, you’ll be less likely to compare yourself to others.

5. Remind yourself that things always improve

Whether you believe in God or not, I’m sure you can think of a time when things seemed utterly hopeless. You didn’t know what you were going to do, then by some miracle, things turned around. This always happens in life, so have a little faith. We are never given more than we can handle. Don’t give up. Trust me, after a time, things will improve. Isn’t it always darkest before the dawn?

6. Change what isn’t working

Clearly if you’re at Desperation Station, something needs to change. Things are sure to improve when they’re at their worst, but you need to get the wheels turning on that outbound train. In the film, The Holiday, there’s a pivotal scene where Iris (played by Kate Winslet) realises that she needs to stop being a pushover and be the leading lady in her own life. What she means is that she needs to stop letting things happen and start taking control of her life. You have the power to do something different and change what isn’t working. Ask yourself honestly, are you being the leading lady in your own life right now?

7. Adjust your mindset

When you feel helpless, you need to change your mindset. Easier said than done, I know, but the longer you stay in that negative space, the more difficult it is to get out of it. Even if you think there’s no point in continuing, keep going anyway. Changing your mindset starts with changing your words. Instead of saying “I can’t”, say “I will try”. Instead of saying “I’m useless at this”, say “I haven’t mastered this yet.” You do not have fixed abilities. Improvement is possible. It just takes some time. Here’s how to develop a growth mindset.

8. Keep persisting

Success never comes easily, unless you’re from the Kardashian clan. Maybe you want to give up because you’re tired of trying. Maybe, like me, you worked your butt off for years in your industry with very little to show for it. I get that it’s tiring to keep persisting, but unless there’s a bigger reason to give up on it, you should keep going. You’ll get your breakthrough eventually. As they say, every “no” is one step closer to a “yes”. I failed my driving test twice, but I passed it the third time. Would I be independently mobile if I had given up? No. I succeeded because I persisted.

9. Surround yourself with positive people

Who do you spend time with? How do they feel about what you’re struggling with? Unfortunately, some of my family members weren’t very supportive when they knew I was blogging. When I wasn’t making any money, they patronisingly said, “Maybe it’s time to let it go?” I kept going anyway, but honestly, their negativity had a real impact on me. Find people who lift you up and encourage you. When you do, it will make a world of difference to your enthusiasm and self-esteem. Try being around positive people and see what happens.

Giving up is easy, but is that really what you want? In a nutshell, if you asked me how to be positive, I would say you need to remember your why, acknowledge your achievements, have faith that things will improve and make some changes. Change your expectations, change what isn’t working, change who you associate with, and most importantly, start changing your mindset. If you want to succeed, you need to persist. I know you can do it, so don’t give up!

Have you got any positivity tips? I’d love to hear them in the comments below. Want get my weekly blog posts sent to you for FREE? All you have to do is click Subscribe! I also hang out on Instagram every day, so follow @empoweredmillennialgirl to get even more free tips and inspiration.

Have a great week!

Grace x